Why Men Are More Successful With Horses

Holy cow, I bet I got more jumps to judgment on this title than a horse with a cactus under his saddle.  Easy ladies, hear my out and you might even agree with what I have to say.

Let me start with what a few of you are thinking.  Where does this guy get off thinking some sexist thing like men are better with horses?  Some time we all tend to jump to conclusions, even with our horses.  A horse may accidentally step on us and we take it as a personal attack or insult.  A horse may not feel good and be lethargic and we call them lazy, disrespectful or blame them for not paying attention.  Horses teach up patience and if we forget that, they teach us a lesson.

Now back to men and women with horses.  Men and women are different, that should be no surprise and most would agree on this point.  Men tend to be more stringent, tougher and less forgiving.  Women tend to be more flexible, not so ego driven tough and more forgiving.  Men tend to be disciplinarians and enforcers, while women tend to be more willing to give additional chances and not as quick to discipline.  Men tend to be stronger than women and are more willing to use their muscles, where women tend to find other ways to get results other than brute force.  Both have situations when their specific traits are useful and better for the specific circumstance.  I know these are not absolutes, but generally these are true.

Horses like direction, they like consistency, they like knowing the rules and having the rules clearly defined.  Horses respect dominant leaders and in fact if they are not dominated they will see it as weakness, take advantage of you and treat you like a lower horse.  Horses are tougher than humans and give out strict and consistent discipline to other horses.  Horses are enforcers when it comes to their hierarchy, social structure and pecking order.   Horses do not allow transgressions without enforcement and a response.  A horse will not say, “Oh, that’s ok, I know you did not mean to do that, I will let it go since I know it was an accident.”  Horses pay attention and expect other horses to pay attention.  If you don’t pay attention and impose or invade on a higher horse and miss a signal to back off and show respect, you will be kicked or bitten.  It is not personal, it is just the rules.  And you will not be kicked softly to give you a chance, you will not be kicked lightly, you will not be pushed away kindly with a hoof… you will be kicked hard and fast.

So if you look at horses and their way of life they are closer related to the way men are rather than the way women are.  Since men tend to get aggressive, strict or forceful quicker than a lot of women, a horse responds better to that.  A man tends to be more specific and less flexible so they are quicker to correct than a lot of women.  Where women are more likely to give a second, third or a fourth chance before giving out discipline, women tend to have more patience than men and are less likely to resort to physical or aggressive discipline.  This is good for teaching horses but can be counter-productive for day to day handling of a horse.

Women have been a big part in getting “Natural Horsemanship” to take off.  Natural Horsemanship is kinder, gentler and better for the horse.  It also takes more time, more patience and a better understanding of the horse.  This is why women tend to be better with Natural Horsemanship techniques and men are more resistant to accepting it.  Women traits help them succeed better in Natural Horsemanship verse the old way of force, fear and intimidation.  However, with that said, force, fear and intimidation works with horses.  I am not promoting it or encouraging it, but it does work.  It also normally works faster, takes less time and gets results.  I always hear if Natural Horsemanship is so much better, why would anyone use the old ways?  It is really simple, the old ways work, they worked for many years, they work faster and they get results, not necessarily better results but results.  Easy now, I absolutely still think the old ways are not as good as Natural Horsemanship.  The old ways may get results, but it destroys the spirit of the horse, it tears down trust, it is much harder and tougher on the horse and you don’t get as good as a horse as you can with Natural Horsemanship.

So why would anyone use the old ways.  Time and lack of knowledge are the two main reasons.  The old ways are faster and you don’t need to know as much.  If you beat a horse or intimidate a horse enough, you can get it to do just about anything and never worry about understanding a horse or worry about working with the horse.  If you just want fast results, so you can use the horse for work, faster, the old way is better.  Which is why I have a problem with trainers who claim to be Natural Horseman and then use the old ways to get fast results in less time and unless the client is there during the training, they will not find out until it is too late.  The old ways work better for men since they can use force, strength and aggression.  These ways are not as easy for a woman to use, so they tend to do better with Natural Horsemanship.

Unfortunately, if you can get aggressive, you really don’t have to know as much about a horse to get results.  The problem is, if you don’t know much about a horse and can’t get aggressive, then you will not be very successful with horses.  So if you are not going to be able to depend on aggressiveness, strength and the old ways, you really have to know much more about a horse and have a much better understanding of the horse, in order to get results. 

The statistics say about 80% of all horse owners are women.  I hear and see the same thing all too often.  Women who mean well, who try hard, who want to be successful, who love horses and give great care to their horses, but they are not successful.  They struggle, get frustrated, hire trainer after trainer, sell and buy horses and just don’t seem to be successful with their horse.  To me it comes down to them not willing to get aggressive, not willing to be dominant, and not having the inability to get tough and be consistent.  Instead they give carrots, they try to talk to the horse, they continue to try and give the horse chances, they accept less than what they want, get frustrated and think they are being kind and loving to their horse.  In fact this confuses horses, the horse sees this as inconsistency and it creates a lack of respect from the horse.

So why do men tend to be more successful with horses, because they don’t have to be as smart (I know all you women will love this point), they are willing to use aggression and force quicker and they are more dominant and more likely to discipline.  That works with horse, not because it is better, but because it works and horses understand it. It works since it is the way of the herd communicates and it is the same way a herd treats each other.  If you have ever seen a mare correct her foal, it is not pretty, it is aggressive, hard and overdone in my book, but it is their way.  A mare will bite a foal so hard in the back that it will drive it to the ground almost smashing it to the ground buckling the foal’s legs.  The foal will immediately get up and run back to mom and stay right next to her showing extremely submissive behavior.  Not a lot of words or threats in a herd, no offering of carrots, maybe a couple of warnings and then it is “action” time.

I guess the moral to this is, if you do not want to use force, fear, intimidation or aggression, you better be willing to learn 10 times as much about the horse and horse behavior and have a much better understanding of the horse.  You have to be willing to study and educate yourself so the need for the old ways, are not needed as much.  And you need to know that sometime you will have to get tough, dominate a horse and make them see you as a strong leader.  It you are never willing to discipline and believe that all horse problems can be corrected with a carrot, love, threats, words and other non-herd things, then I believe your odds of success with horse will be low.

The horse is never wrong, they want and need direction. They need consistency so they know what is expected, know what the right answer is and know who the smartest leader is.  You help a horse by being consistent, knowledgeable, fair and making sure there is only one right answer for the release and that the right answer is easy for the horse to find.

Happy Trails,

Rick
www.thinklikeahorse.org