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By: bella hill
on July 02, 2012
in Other Questions
My horse Dakota just passed Saturday and i'm having a really hard time getting over him and he was my first horse and now he's gone any tips on how to move on cause it's been almost two days ever since i went back to the barn and i'm pretty sure Flicka and D.J miss me alot
It was hard when we had to put our horse down.
I didn't go out to the barn for almost a week. It was just too hard.
The first time I went back out, I went right up to his buddy horse and just hugged him and cried on his neck. the next few times I went out I found it was still hard, but slowly started getting easier. When I was alone, I'd stand at the gate and stare at where we had to put him down and just cry my heart out.
There's no real easy way to get over them. I still cry when I think of him and it's been 2 years. You never forget your first horse, or a good horse for that matter.
The best therapy is being around other horses. They're good for you and your soul.
Don't rush past the greiving process. take your time, let yourself heal. Don't be afraid to cry or think of him, or talk about him....
Years ago, we lost a pony in an arson fire, so we never got to say goodbye. That was very hard. It did take a while to feel better but thinking about all the good times helped. We planted an apple tree in memory of him and made a plaque for it using one of his horseshoes.
Sounds like you have two other horses, so go see them and tell them about your grief - somehow it feels like they understand. Then enjoy being with them.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Putting down horses has never been easy for any horseback rider. I know how much it hurts. I lost my first horse Thelma, two years ago and last year my pasture pet Tiny got sick and was put down. It's hard to get over these things. Just take your time. It's only been two days, grieve as long as you need to. When my horses died I listened to music and expressed my sadness in my writing and my art. You just need to take your time and get the sad feelings out.
So sorry for your loss. It takes a very long time to get over them. My eyes still well up when I think of my old mare and she's been gone over 10 years. Just focus on the love of your other two and put one foot in front of the other. Give yourself plenty of time to grieve.
Bella, I am so sorry you are going through this. It is a hard thing to deal with. Years ago I lost a mare and I was sad but recovered quickly. Last year we lost our Chelsea, she was an 8 yo mare we had raised from a yearling, and our Champp he was a yearling stud colt out of a Genuine Doc daughter that we had bred. My husband bureid them both in our yard and built us a garden over Chelsea's grave and marked it with a boulder. To this day I cry for her...when I work in the garden, when I do something she loved to do, when a certain song comes on the radio that I used to sing to her. (Only she could stand my singing..lol) When I see pictures of either of them...just random times when I think about them. It is getting better, and I love the mare I now ride, my daughter hated her because she took Chelsea's place in the barn. It isnt that she took Chelsea place in our hearts...no horse ever will, but there is room for more. Get to the barn, get riding another horse, remember the good times you had with your horse...try not to dwell on the loss.When Chelsea died I dove back in...when Champp died I forced myself to go to the barn, I would wait for the other horses to be turned out then go clean stalls....that went on for 3 weeks before I could look at the rest of our horses.
thoughts and prayers for you.
Aw Bella I am so sorry for your loss. I had to put one of me babies down in April, and I still cry for him often. I have 5 other horses that are important to me so had to go back to the barn the very next day. I took a small garden flag and some flowers and put them on his grave. We also have his stall plate moved to the side with his picture as a memorial, and after about a week I moved one of the other horses into that stall. Don't let anyone say that you should not be grieving, everyone grieves differantly and in their own time. Your other horses will be a source of strengh for you and you for them. There are some really good Horse memorial websites you might check them out some great poems and ways to memorialize your horse.
I know what it feels like to lose a horse :(
Probably, you should go to the barn and hang out with the other horses (you don't neccessarily have to ride them, just sit in the field and watch them if you want). When tears come, let yourself cry, it will help you heal.
I was depressed for a year after my horse died, but I wasn't around horses for a while after he died, and I didn't have any friends (my horse was my only friend, which made it harder when he died).
So keep playing with the horses at the barn, and keep hanging out with your friends (it might help if you hang out with your friends even more).
As with any loss time, and your other horses need you that's what makes you go back when it seems to hard. I have lost an amazing cat he died in my arms, I am so sorry for your loss. It has been only 2 days it is ok to still feel this way! Take care
Bella i am so so so sorry i lost my horse 2 years ago due to a leg injury so it was best to put her down i didn't go back to the stables but i wrote about her and that helped but i think you should write about her and go to the stables and talk to your horses and go out for a nice long ride